Constant Change
By Bob Caron
It’s not surprising in an environment where almost everything around us is changing nearly constantly, that our species is so attached to keeping things the same. Reminiscent of Newton’s third law, our equal and opposite reaction to constant change is a vigilance to hold onto something that isn’t changing. However, our feeble attempts at holding on don’t do us much good. You’d think that after several decades or more of this game we’d finally learn our lesson – but most of us don’t – and even those of us who are consciously aware of this paradox can still get caught up in the emotional experience of loss. We get hurt when people don’t meet our expectations. We are deeply disrupted by loss of jobs, social status and roles, functional abilities, loved ones and so on. People come up with faith-based justifications for the seeming randomness of it all; like “everything happens for a reason.” I’ll cut to the chase on that one – I’m not buying it – at least the part of that phrase that suggests a deliberate reason has been planned.
What is easy to see as we look backward is that wherever you sit right now is the result of infinite chains of cause and effect; an interconnected web of existence that is in flux and, yes, all those changes resulted in now. So, it feels natural for humans to make meaning of those causes, as though they were planned.
What is easy to see as we look backward is that wherever you sit right now is the result of infinite chains of cause and effect; an interconnected web of existence that is in flux and, yes, all those changes resulted in now. So, it feels natural for humans to make meaning of those causes, as though they were planned. Creating meaning has its usefulness, so long as we’re not attached to the idea that the meaning will stay the same. Have you noticed how often we rewrite our past? As we add experience and insight to our lives, we see our past from a different perspective and evolve the meaning we apply to it. Even our past is changing constantly!
Getting caught up in the rough seas of these constant changes is a major source of mental health issues. It fosters coping and defensive mechanisms, lack of trust, social issues, and builds habits that don’t serve our greater purpose. The earlier in life we’re exposed to radical changes the worse off we are. Most child psychologists would agree that structure, routine and consistency are things that a developing nervous system will thrive around. Massive disruptions to support systems, environment and caregivers can have consequences that reverberate through an entire lifetime. Yet as we grow through our stages of development and begin to accept the ceaseless march of time and the continual changes that it brings, there’s a point in our lives where we begin to see ourselves as part of that continuum and not separate from it. We have the ability to surrender the fight and enter into the rhythms of the Universe.
In my Aikido practice I learned not to get attached so I could deal with the next attack, and in my Zen practice I learned that I was creating those attacks myself. I don’t experience unwanted changes as pleasant by any measure, yet the less resistance I apply to them and the more I see myself as co-creating those changes, the less I get caught up in the unpleasantness of it all. If we wait long enough, things change again, and the natural rhythms of the Universe conspire with our intention and efforts to create new openings and opportunities. I sense the tide changing after a tough year from where I sit, and I’m sure many of you have had a tough go of the past year as well. As I look forward to a long-awaited exhale this summer, I’m also reminded that’s it’s just another peak in the continuous wave, and to enjoy the ride on the upside and on the down.
Bob Caron is a Zen Leadership Coach and Instructor, and a member of the IZL Board of Directors.
