From “It’s All About Me” to “I’m All About It”: A Zen Leadership Journey in Resort Wellness
Written by: Toby Maguire
For more than twenty years, I have worked as a visiting wellness practitioner in health and wellness resorts around the world. My background includes Chinese Medicine, Thai Massage, hypnotherapy, meditation, and leadership coaching. Most of those years were spent freelancing, moving from resort to resort, entering serene spa environments where guests arrived with hope — and expectation.
When people are on vacation, they often come to see someone like me because they want to be fixed. They want relief from physical pain. They want freedom from anxiety. They want to stop smoking, lose weight, sleep better, or feel emotionally lighter. In luxury resorts especially, there is an unspoken assumption: you pay for results.
Early in my career, I absorbed that pressure completely. If someone booked a session, I felt responsible for producing transformation. If they were only at the resort for a few days, the urgency intensified. How could I teach meditation or Qi Gong in two hours? How could I help someone release years of emotional holding in one hypnotherapy session? How could I resolve chronic pain in a single massage?
Still, I tried.
I wanted to fix people.
When I couldn’t help someone in the way they hoped, I took it personally. My treatment wasn’t good enough. I wasn’t good enough. I questioned my skills and my value.
There was also the commercial reality of the resort industry. Spa managers wanted revenue. Bookings mattered. Even when I doubted whether meaningful change was possible within such limited time, I would agree to the session. Revenue is revenue, after all. Over time, however, that tension weighed on my conscience.
Looking back, I can see that I was operating from what Ginny describes as the state of “It’s all about me.” Although I was serving others, my focus was inward: Was I successful? Did I deliver results? Did I prove myself? My ego was entangled in every outcome.
The shift came gradually. Through experience, humility, and honest reflection, I began to understand something simple but liberating: even the most experienced medical doctors with decades of experience cannot help everyone. Why did I believe I should?
I realized I am not a miracle worker. I can only offer my best, with the knowledge and presence I have in that moment. The rest is not mine to control.
This was the Zen flip — from “It’s all about me” to “I’m all about it.”
When I stopped measuring myself against outcomes and instead immersed myself fully in the work, everything changed. In massage sessions, I became absorbed in the rhythm of breath, the warmth of muscle, the subtle shifts beneath my hands. I allowed the session to unfold rather than pushing it toward a predetermined result.
In meditation sessions, I stopped trying to manufacture breakthroughs. I simply shared how meditation once brought me out of depression. I watched people’s faces soften as they realized change was possible. Often, what moved them was not a technique but hope.
In hypnotherapy, I focused less on dramatic transformation and more on depth and safety. Guiding someone gently into the quiet spaces of their own mind, witnessing long-held emotions surface — that was enough. Whether visible change occurred immediately or not was no longer my measure of success.
Some of the most powerful sessions were the simplest. A guest sitting across from me, exhausted from holding everything together. A space where they could finally cry. A conversation where they felt heard without judgment. Sometimes the “right” words emerged not because I planned them, but because I was fully present and listening.
Occasionally, there was a hug at the end of a session. Or an email weeks later saying, “Thank you. You’ve really helped me to see things in a different light.” Not because I fixed them, but because I was there.
Letting go of the need to fix people paradoxically made my work more effective and far more enjoyable. Guests sensed the difference and just gravitated towards me. The staff sensed it too and also opened up to me. Instead of striving, I was being. Instead of pushing, I was allowing.
Today, as a leadership coach, I see the same pattern. Leaders often believe they must solve everything and rescue everyone. But leadership, like healing, is not about control. It is about presence. It is about creating conditions in which others can access their own capacity.
Working in resorts for over two decades taught me that transformation does not happen because we force it. It happens when we create space for it. When we drop our ego and become fully absorbed in the work itself.
The shift from “It’s all about me” to “I’m all about it” freed me — not from responsibility, but from self-judgment. I still prepare. I still care deeply. I still offer my best. But I no longer carry the illusion that I am the source of another person’s change.
I am simply present.
And in that presence, the real work unfolds.
Toby Maguire is a mental wellness coach, meditation teacher, and author with over 20 years of experience helping people reduce stress and unlock their full potential. Drawing from Eastern philosophy, meditation, hypnotherapy, and life coaching, he guides professionals and businesses to find balance, clarity, and authentic success. Based in Phuket, he offers retreats, courses, and coaching designed to transform both personal wellbeing and professional performance.