Functional Freeze: Finding My Way Back to Myself
Photo: Courtney Amo
By Courtney Amo
Have you ever felt emotionally or physically “stuck”? You’re going through the motions, doing what needs to be done, but inside, you feel immobilized, disconnected, or overwhelmed. To the outside world, you appear fine, but deep down, you know you’re not fully there, not fully present to your experience.
Our autonomic nervous system is designed to respond to the demands of our environment. It helps us quickly shift through states like fight (action), flight (escape), or freeze (immobilization). These responses are survival mechanisms. While fight and flight gear us up for action, freeze is our body’s way of saying, “This threat is too much, let’s shut down to conserve energy and protect ourselves.”
When I learned about fight, flight, and freeze, I could immediately remember experiencing each of these states. I could recognize their early signature in my body: how fight starts in my belly, and builds up my spine as my heart begins to race; how flight starts in the muscles of my legs, and feels urgent and pressing; how freeze shows up as heaviness, as this sudden realization that “I” am no longer present in my body, and all emotions and sensations shift to numbness.
Our nervous system is supposed to move us through these states as needed, and bring us back to regulation when the coast is clear. But what if that doesn’t happen?
The Experience of “Functional” Freeze
When my mother passed away unexpectedly on New Year’s Eve 2022, I was thrust into a sequence of autonomic nervous system states. At first, fight propelled me into action: find a phone, dial 911, answer paramedics' questions, and navigate the chaos. My body was sweating, my heart racing, but my mind was clear and focused.
Soon after, as my body realized the “emergency” was under control, my head and heart came together to contemplate the situation. My nervous system shifted. I collapsed into a ball on the floor, immobilized. While memories of the moments right before freeze are clear, from that point on it is a blur. People talking, moving, making calls - like a movie rather than real life.
When my sister arrived, I felt another shift – from immobilization to modest activation – enough to get me off the floor and start taking action on the to-dos. This slightly activated, blurry state lingered for weeks while I was working, fulfilling responsibilities, responding to needs. I was technically functional, but on autopilot – doing just enough to get by, but without the clarity, presence, or energy to process the depth of what had happened.
A Framework for Understanding
Functional freeze isn’t a failure; it’s the body’s wisdom at work. Polyvagal Theory explains that when our nervous system perceives a situation as overwhelming or inescapable, it activates the dorsal vagal response—a shutdown mode that enables survival. Functional freeze exists within this spectrum: you’re technically functioning, but in a muted, autopilot-like state.
This state served me in the short term, allowing me to handle logistical tasks while numbing the emotional load. But over time, I noticed signs that I hadn’t fully returned to myself: blunted emotions, difficulty with motivation, inability to plan, and a sense of disconnection.
When looking at this through a FEBI (Focus Energy Balance Indicator) lens, my normally high Visionary and Collaborator energies were no longer present. I had little to no desire to generate plans or ideas, or engage in any kind of play. While my modest Organizer energy took centre stage - orchestrating the day-to-day, the bit of Driver energy that I do have would get used up quickly as I tried to press through leadership, work, and life demands. I knew this wasn’t just grief.
Tools to Thaw
Healing from functional freeze required intention, gentleness, and a holistic approach. My psychologist helped me name and understand what was happening and why. Together, we explored strategies like:
Gratitude and Grace: Acknowledging my body’s wisdom and survival response, and accepting that this was not the time to solve big problems or make life-changing decisions.
Mindful Movement: Bringing intention back to my mindfulness and movement practices, which at the time were feeling automatic and not embodied. Breathing and grounding through my body brought my mind-body back online. Flowing, swaying movements brought gentle activation back into my system.
Co-Regulation: Reconnecting with self and others in safe, healing spaces like nature, allowing co-regulation to guide me back to safety.
Journaling and Reflection: Creating space to process my emotions, draw lessons, and plan for the future.
I also used this time to reflect on my FEBI energy balance profile, and how my innate strengths and preferences could support my healing. I could draw on high Visionary and Collaborator energies to re-ignite creativity and co-creation. I could also draw on modest Organizer and weaker Driver to create structure in my days, in order to gently progress toward my goals. It was during this time that my co-authors and I completed our book, and I am eternally grateful for their role in co-regulation and co-creation.
Rediscovering Warmth
Through these practices, I found my way back to regulation, back to myself. The warmth of community, combined with personal tools and patience, helped thaw the freeze. Now, when the temperature drops, I know how to find warmth again.
Functional freeze isn’t just about survival; it’s a call to reconnect with our body’s innate wisdom. By honoring and working with it, we can move toward presence, resilience, and regulation. And in this state, we can experience the full richness of life’s emotions—the beautiful gift of being human.
Courtney Amo is the founder of Mahaa, an independent yoga, retreat, lifestyle coaching, and consulting practice that promotes inclusive, barrier-free access to well-being. With over two decades of yoga teaching, public sector leadership and facilitation expertise, Courtney brings an embodied perspective to her work and builds strong teams grounded in trust and respect. Courtney is the co-author of “The Mind-Body Way: The Embodied Leader's Path to Resilience, Connection, and Purpose”, published in 2023. She is also a certified coach, and Zen Leadership practitioner. She lives in Moncton, New Brunswick, Canada, with her husband and three dogs. Visit her at mahaa.ca.
